STAR BLOGGERS

Are we stressing our kids to death?? Are you kidding?? If you ask me, I think it’s the other way around. Our kids are stressing us to death!

I have always believed in raising happy kids. Not stressing them too much especially over academic performance and as long as they are coping fine, we would be more than happy. Or so I thought.

My little girl has all along been a darling both at home and in school. Ever since she attended childcare years ago, I received nothing but great comments from her teachers. Even after she attended primary school, her results and conduct was that of a model student. At least till last year. She is in primary 3 this year and she had changed so much that I have totally no idea what happened!!

I totally belong to the camp of those “bo chup” parents. I don’t buy loads of assessment books for my kids, no enrichment classes, no tuition, no stressing them during exams period and definitely not one to take leave just to revise with them. The only “extra lessons” she had was learning to swim because she asked for it and I felt that it was a survival skill and also a chance for her to get some exercise and sun. I was definitely happy with this arrangement especially when my girl managed to score pretty well and at the same time saved us quite a substantial amount of money. And weekends/evenings spent together is all play and not shuttling her between enrichment classes and shouting at her to revise her homework. I can definitely proudly declare that we do not give her any stress at all.

But all of that changed. She took it for granted that she doesn’t have to work hard to get good results and started to slack in her work. I started to nag at her more and supervised her schoolwork more closely than ever. She hated it. I hated it as well. She hates it that I am pushing her and I am upset that she dislikes me for it. She started to overreact and gets really emotional over it.

Here’s my problem. I know she can do much better because she has proven to be able to do so all this while. If I start to push her, our relationship is strained. If I just let her be, she starts to get lazy and her results gets affected. Tell me, what should I do????? And I haven’t even started sending her to tuition classes and stuff. It doesn’t help that her little brother is only 4 years old this year and the only stress he has is running out of snacks to eat while deciding to watch either Okto or Thomas And Friends VCDs.

I told my husband, this is retribution. My mum must be happy to see this happening to me now. I gave my mum her fair share of headaches and troubles when I was a little girl. While I appreciate the fact that my mum gave me room (read: don’t care) to grow and study at my own pace, I am lucky and…. ahem… smart enough to get to where I am today. But who knows, if she had kicked my butt hard enough, I would be Dr. Koh or something today and earning tens of thousands every month now.

So what we’re doing now is to guide and monitor her schoolwork closely but not in a harsh way. Still no tuition classes because I really don’t think she needs it yet. Hopefully al turns out well in time to come. I dare not even think about the time when my little boy starts his formal education. Did I mention that he doesn’t speak mandarin at all?? Someone pass me the contact for Chinese enrichment classes please. Not double standards, just that we need to tailor to the needs of the child. Yes?? Oh, and while we are at this, I am also looking at sending the other child (read: hubby) to some classes as well such as “101 Ways to Romance You Wife” and also “Self Help for TV Addicts”.

Now you tell me, who is the one getting stressed to death? Sigh, I am so in need of a drink.

“Being a parent is easy but being a good parent is the tough part. Celine Koh a young mother with 2 kids trying hard to stay sane while dealing with the challenges of being a woman. She blogs regularly at http://kohceline.blogspot.com/ ”