STAR BLOGGERS

Yes, but only enough to give people some time to smart up.

They bolt from home at seven a.m., hoping to beat the crushing MRT jam. Thirteen hours later they return at eight p.m., exhausted from battling demanding bosses and rush hour traffic. They have no time to stop and breathe; no time to see the sun rise and set.

This speed-drugged nation is already moving so fast as to disenchant a whole generation. Not too long ago many of my peers were fresh-faced graduates; two years later relentless work has already claimed more than a few ideals, and eyebags.

But I suspect a different criminal than speed per se. What caused this speed?

To my mind, the axe falls on an insufficient education system. This risk-averse institution trains tens of thousands of children to spend the rest of their days serving so-called reputable companies.

In other words, this locks scores of them into a fixed amount earnable per year, and traps them into dependency on meagre bonuses – which they fritter away on a year-end holiday to help relieve the accumulated stress.

To help bolster their paypacket, they slave longer hours in the office, speeding up the vicious economic cycle.

Yes, we all want success – but the trick is not more speed. According to many who have broken from this cycle, it is instead a passion for entrepreneurship.

Success stories such as Adam Khoo (at 26 years old one of Singapore’s youngest millionaires) tout very different vehicles to success: business and investment.

To begin on any of those requires a courage to fail, leveraging on the success of others, and a roving eye for opportunity – few skills the standard MOE education system trains.

The great American writer Mark Twain said it best: “I never let my schooling interfere with my education.” It seems all the greats concur on one thing: we need to unlearn what we learnt in school.

So, should Singapore slow down? No. Economically it should speed up; crucially, it must smart up.

The BBC reports that the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) churns out almost half of the leaders of companies in Silicon Valley – a global hub of entrepreneurship. In that hallowed institution, they learnt to take risks, wheel and deal, and build companies.

As a Primary-Secondary-JC-University product, I treasure my education, but learnt little about these skills. But the side story saw me establish a designing business, which I pursued and grew alongside my studies.

The result? My degree secured me a regular job in 2008. In one year, I earned a distinctly average wage. But in that same period, I developed this business; just eight months later, it harvested more than my regular job’s annual sum!

It was not just about speed, but pluck, and to be honest, lots of luck. But fortune favours the brave.

So echoes James Sun, a successful Korean American entrepreneur, in a recent Straits Times interview. When he was growing up, he had observed that friends with poor fathers watched TV in their free time, while the rich dads read the Wall Street Journal. These wealthy fathers used their market awareness to invest and grow their business – as did James Sun, who at 33 is a retired multi-millionaire.

Slowing down might allow us more breathing space, and taking a breather is important – especially if one is an overworked employee.

But the worker could choose to do two things now: numb his mind via the TV, or ponder his entrepreneurial potential.

If they succeed in the latter and make it as boss, then they can take it slow – anytime they want.

Clarence is an environmentalist — he is now building a system to grow grass on his car roof, an entrepreneur — he runs an aquarium design business, and an idealist — he doesn’t have a single pirated song. He hopes to one day live in a hill-top treehouse overlooking the mountains.

If you want fatted goats, feed them well in a comfortable, confined space. Better still, have someone provide deep, relaxing massage while they lie stationary, listening to calming piped-in music – that way the exercise is done for them, on them. We’ll do what’s good for them while they in turn do what’s good for themselves – ensuring quality meat supply.

Look around you and tell me what you see. Why do we even need well-rounded kids (sic)?

What we really need more of are happy, well-adjusted children.  

Of course, it would be nice if they could be obedient and respectful.  Who wouldn’t adore children who are mentally resilient, morally upright, capable of independent thinking and clear speech, ready to take the initiative and trusted to lead?  In fact, give us children with a smidgen of talent, and we parents will propel them ‘towards complete world domination’. (Jason Johnson NPOS 14Mar2010).  .

Isn’t the notion of ‘well-rounded kids’ rather achievement-oriented? It sounds disturbingly like another phase of the production line.  Is this another ingredient now deemed necessary for a smooth-going economy?

If you want to help our children, then do something decent, help them to live. Help them cope with this changing world and to stay grounded. This must start at home, with the family. Get this fixed. 

Be careful our quest for well-rounded kids doesn’t result in stunted growth all round.

 
Mrs. X, who prefers to remain anonymous, is a mother of four. She sees little sense in the structure of the local education system and strongly believes that good, all-rounded education should begin at home.

Having heard stories of cheating and after experiencing it firsthand, I feel that it certainly is not and should not be acceptable in today’s culture. In my case, while planning a surprise for my ex-boyfriend after a trip overseas, I bumped into him holding another girl’s hand. It hit me especially hard as he was my childhood friend and someone whom I never expected this from.

The victims in such cases are usually torn apart when the truth is out. The act of cheating leaves the victims at a loss and affects their ability to trust in another relationship.

One example is Jack Neo. Mr Lim Biow Chuan, MP of Marine Parade GRC, condones Jack Neo’s actions. The MP remarked that Jack Neo had been a good son, a father and also a good husband and since he is remorseful over this incident, that he should be forgiven.

In actual fact, a man who has good career development would find such scenarios unavoidable.

How can someone’s success give him the right to cheat? Cheating suggests broken hearts and potentially life-long traumas if one cannot handle these situations well. Cheating suggests selfish individuals who do not exercise self control and shun responsibilties they chose to shoulder in the first place.

In life, one must understand that actions have consequences and must be responsible to them. Therefore, I personally feel that it is more acceptable if one informs his or her partner that the relationship is not working out or has found someone better, rather than resort to cheating.

J, who wishes to remain anonymous, feels very strongly about staying loyal in a relationship. Speaking from a past experience with a straying boyfriend, she feels that loyalty is the best policy.

Being an athlete of Tiger Wood’s standings, it is inevitable for infidelity to go unnoticed. But why should he have to stand before the world and apologise? Any other ordinary guy on the streets would not have to, so why Tiger Wood?

He is a billionaire thanks to the many sponsors he had in the course of his golfing career, not forgetting the throngs of fans who followed him on the course as well as on the couch behind a television. They believed in him and in one way or another would have provided an invisible support propelling him back after a bad day on the golf course.

I don’t think a public apology is aimed at winning his family back, and even if it is, it will probably never work. I believe, him making a public apology and admitting to the mistakes he made, is the only way of apologizing to his sponsors and fans.

He said “sorry” for letting them down, for creating a character that every young golfer aspired to be, and now tarnishing it with his infidelities, apologising for the embarrassment he has caused his sponsors and the loss of faith to the fans.

I guess the price to pay for a mistake like that is exponential compared to the guy on the street. But he definitely needed to apologise. Not just to his family, but also to the millions out there who worshipped him as the golfing legend he was and still is. Tiger Wood is one who errs, and to err is simply human.

 Benjamin Tan once represented the Republic of Singapore as a sailor in many international events. He is currently an undergraduate at the Nanyang Technological University.

On several occasions, I have had the privilege of standing atop the victory stand to receive a medal for winning in an event in either a local or international competition.  And each time I leaned forward as the medal was placed on my shoulders, I would feel the irrevocable sense of achievement, not only because I won the event, but because I could finally taste the fruits of the previous months of intensive training.  Medals are more than an award for winning an event.  To the athlete; they are an emblem of his hard work, and a memento that he has proved himself to be the best on that very day and time.  To the media and the public, a medal sometimes subconsciously implies the expectation to be a role model.  

 The question of whether winning a medal for Singapore would change an athlete largely depends on the individual.  It is without doubt that outstanding performances at international or regional meets such as the Olympics, Asian Games, and even the SEA Games garners media attention.  Personally, the feeling of opening the newspaper to see that I have been recognized for good performances is like adding extra cherries to an already perfect cake.  Sometimes even, lucrative sponsorships are presented to the individual and he gets the chance to be a representative of the brand and this is always exciting.

 However, what people sometimes fail to see is that amidst the fame and recognition, athletes also have to deal with the underlying pressures of being scrutinized by the media and the public, especially when they are as famous as the former local swimming star like Joscelin Yeo.  There are expectations to be a role model and sometimes, even an image of perfection in the eyes of the readers.  Whilst an athlete’s achievements are glorified, like a double edged sword, his downfalls are also ridiculed – the greater the fame and recognition, the greater the expectations of the sponsors, the media and the public.  By this, I mean not only in terms of how well a medal-winning athlete performs at future competitions, rather, how well he performs in every aspect of his life. 

 Take for instance, Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian who ever lived, winning an immaculate 8 gold medals in the 2008 Beijing Olympics.  After all the praise, he was hit with international scrutiny news arose that he had allegedly smoked weed from a bong.  Apart from being dropped by sponsor “Kelloggs”, the sports star even had to make a public apology regarding the issue. 

 Phelps said: “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”     

 The pressures and expectations come when children and young athletes admire the athlete as a role model and sometimes even a hero.  It is always a huge disappointment when the perfect ivory image is stained by an act of recklessness. 

 To a small extent, yes.  Although my drive to continue improving myself in the swimming arena, my personality and character traits are all still the same, it does however make me more aware of how I conduct myself when in the light of the media and the public.  What certainly makes dealing with the “pressure” easier is the backing of a strong set of values from my upbringing. 

Echoed in what producer and nephew of Walt Disney, Roy Disney, said, “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

Parker Lam  is one of Singapore’s National Swimmers and record holders. He  won Gold  at the Asian Swimming Championships in 2009

After months and months of beauty and fashion blogging, it’s time for me to venture to more serious matters. Male infidelity is no stranger to any sensible women. Almost always, the one who strays is the male being – a species thought to be superior over the female in terms of responsibility, will-power and whatever else is left. Hence, isn’t it a bit comical that the male is the one having the difficulty not leaving his pants down?

If you were still dating, I guess you want to experiment. Therefore, you look for greener pastures. This excuse is reasonable to a certain extent; if I am your regular male buddy.

The situation then changes again when the male involved is married and famous.

And once again the situation changes when the male involved is married and famous and has a hot wife.

But what’s the situation like when you are Tiger Woods?

The squeaky clean golf and media darling dropped a bomb on 11th December 2009: admitting an indefinite leave from golf. Why? So that he can focus more on his family after his multiple infidelities.

The question on my mind is not whether he will lose all his sponsors. Or not about whether his opponents are all sniggering at his mishap. I’m more concerned about whether he should apologise and if Elin should accept his apology.

When you do something wrong, you apologise and show remorse.

Hence, Woods should apologise and show remorse. His scenario is more complex though. Other male beings have their families and friends to answer to, but Woods has the media, his golf fans and the entire world to answer to as well. His apology is a huge one.

Leaving the professional world to focus on his family life, or saving his family life, is a wise choice.

Even if that means getting dropped from lucrative sponsors like Gatorade and Tag Heuer.

Let’s list out what Woods has tried to do to salvage the situation:

- au revoir golf!

- admitting that it was his big-headedness that landed him in hot soup: he thought since he was that famous, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to. Self-reflection is always helpful.

- be on a magazine cover to reach out to more people, hence showing remorse to more people.

- go for therapy.

- do charity work (Woods donated $3 million to Haiti)

A commendable effort, I must admit.

Elin, on the other hand, is commendable as well. She still refuses to take him back. You go girl! In this decision, she gives up fame and wealth. This is an excellent example of how not all women are ONLY driven by money.

My opinion on this is, don’t opt for a divorce but don’t opt for a reconciliation either. This is for the kids (nope, I’m not all about money either). Moreover, this way, she can torture him more. Nice move.

Having affairs with 14 women, or more, is not as simple as having an affair with one. Furthermore, none of these 14 look classier or prettier than Elin. An apology is thus not so simply accepted.

Let’s just hope no more women step out and declare more affairs.

Fitrina is a 21-year-old undergraduate majoring in Communication Studies. She has a keen and critical eye for such sagas, amongst more regular fashion and beauty trends. She also enjoys a good bout of retail therapy in her free time.

Tags: Fitrina Lim