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I was just looking through some of my friends profiles and I came across this page: The BlogTV.sg Stop in the Name of Love Movement. Then, I remembered my best friend asking me if I was free on Friday to head down to town to help her out.

Out of curiosity, I clicked on the link. There it was, right in front of me:
If today is your last day, who will you say ‘I love you’ to?

She’d mention to me that the event was about making phone calls to the ones you love and expressing your love for them. But it didn’t hit me quite as hard as the line did.

It got me thinking: If today is my last day, who will I call to say ‘I love you’ to?
Would I only get one phone call?
Would I call my parents?
My very loving grandma?
My siblings, maybe?
Or would I call him?
Would I call my best friend of 10years?

But then, if I only had one phone call, would I call my parents? After all, they’ve been investing all their time and money in me for the past 19odd years. It’s time I let them know I love them. It’s not as though they don’t know I love them, but more of openly displaying and telling them that I love them. After all, it is my last day. They’ve supported me in all that I do. They’ve stood by me when I decided to sign my life away. They even stood by me when I thought there was no hope left. They’ve picked me up when I was down. Do they know how grateful I am to them? Do they know how much I love them?

Or would I call either of my siblings? We were brought up in a home where love was not publicly displayed. The words ‘I love you’ were not often heard. For 19 years, I’ve never heard my siblings telling me how much they love me, or to each other for that matter. I only remember my siblings picking fun at me. The only image of love I have, is that of my sister protecting me when my brother tried to bully me. As I was telling a friend, my siblings and I share a special relationship. We show each other how much we love one another by poking fun at them and not by portraying our love for each other outright. And if today is my last day, would I want to call either one of them and let them know, that despite everything, I love them? That even though I claim to want a sexy name, I actually love my unique name given to me by my dearest sister. Or that as much as I complain being a driver for my brother, that I’d be more than happy to drive him a thousand miles?

How about my grandma? She’s spent almost a good 8 to 14 years looking after me, making sure I had nutritious meals, making sure I got to school on time etc. And now, she’s no longer staying with us, I don’t get to show her how much I love her. I don’t get to return the favour by looking after her this time around. Maybe it’s time to show her my appreciation and gratitude by just saying those 3 words, ‘I love you’.

My best friend. I’ve known her for 10 years now. We’ve been through thick and thin together. We know each other like the back of our hands. After 10 years, I’d like to tell her I love her. I’d like to thank her for always being there for me and supporting me in all that I do. I’d like to tell her how much I appreciate her being so understanding and always compromising with me. I know I haven’t exactly been the best friend there is. I’d like to acknowledge her willingness to put our differences aside, to put our past behind us and move forward with me. When no one else was there, she was definitely there for me.

After all these years, I want her to know how much I appreciate her, how much I love her, how much she means to be although we don’t see each other that often. Even though we are miles apart, we still keep in contact like we are just 200m away (as usual). Maybe I’d use that one phone call to let her know, after all this time, how much she means to me.

Him. Without a doubt, I’d definitely want to call him. I’d let him know how much I love him, how much I appreciate him. I’d tell him he means the world to me. I’d thank him for being so patient with me, for loving me no matter what. Even though he doesn’t display it that prominently, I’d thank him for being ever so sweet, for showing me the care and concern, for showering me with endless love.

I’ll always remember what he said, it went something like this: “I’d make it 10000 reasons so I’ll never leave you”. It’s the little things like these that makes my heart skip a beat. It’s these little things that make me fall so deeply in love with him.

Only now, do I realise how much I have to say to all these people. Well, I hope today isn’t my last day because then, I wouldn’t be able to tell all those I love, how much I love them and how much I appreciate them.

This definitely shook me up.

What kind of image will people have of you? Will they come together to reminisce the good times you had with them? Will they speak highly of you? Will there even be people there?

So here are the long awaited thank yous:

#1: Thanks mum&dad. Thanks for everything you’ve done for me. If it wasn’t for your continuous support, I don’t think I could have made it to where I am now. I love you mum&dad.

#2: To my dearest brother and sister: Thank you for always being there for me. Even though you guys never mentioned those 3 little words, I’ve always felt your love and warmth through your actions. After 19 years, I’d like you to know I love you guys very much. My life would be very different without you two. It would have been very empty and quiet, in deed. You two have brought life, not just to our family, but to my life. You guys have showed me what it is to be a family, and a tight and close one at that. Thanks for the support that you’ve shown me in your own ways. Thank you for being wonderful role models to me, for paving the way for me to follow. The shoes I have to fill are big, but I will definitely try my best not to let you guys down. I love you kor and jie.

#3: Mama, thank you for your undivided love and attention. Thank you for painstakingly making sure that the maids cooked proper food for our consumption. Thank you for making sure we got the proper nutrition. Thank you for looking after me all those times I was feeling under the weather. I know I haven’t been the best granddaughter and that I’ve let you down a couple of times. I want you to know that I’ll make you proud. I will do my best. I love you, mama.

#4: The craziest and best cousins, Cass and Nat. I love you guys! I think we can say, without a doubt, that we are definitely close cousins. Thanks for all the wonderful times together, the mahjong sessions, the wii sessions and the movie sessions. The both of you have definitely brightened up my life. You guys have also shown me that it’s possible for extended families to be very close. Thanks for giving me advice and support in everything that I do, from studies to relationship. We have started traditions that I hope will continue on until we have gray hair (EG, the new years eve routine, the CNY reunion dinner, the random BBQ sessions etc.) Life would definitely have been very different without the two of you. Thank you for being part of my life.

#5: As I always say, “I love you, Audrey!“ My bestest best friend of all time, you’ve been with me almost through everything. From maomi, to Zack.The good times and the bad. Thick and thin. The wakeboarding days to the vodka drinking nights. You know everything about me. I hope you know that your advice and encouragement has helped me to pick myself up and carry on. When I felt like all hope was gone, you were there to shine your torch and lead me out of the dark tunnel. I hope I can be there for you as much as you’ve been there for me. I hope I can be the same pillar of strength that you have been for me. I hope I can help to lead you out of the dark tunnel too. Although we don’t see each other much, I hope I still can be that best friend that you have been to me. You have truly helped to mould me to the person I am today. Thank you.

#6: Last, but definitely not least, Zachary Peter Cruz-Tan. Thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. For always giving in to me when I give you that look. I know I haven’t exactly been the best girlfriend to you. I’ve let you down, I’ve given you heart attacks, I’ve shocked the life out of you and more, and yet, you still love me all the same. Even though you’re not a real fan of PDA, I can always feel your love through the smallest things that you do; by just holding me close while watching tv, by tucking me in when I fall asleep, by giving into most of my demands, by entertaining my nonsense and most of all, by not letting go of me when I fall asleep in your arms. I hope you’ll never let go of me, ever. You’ve been there to push me, to encourage me and to support me. You’ve lent me your shoulder to cry on, you’ve listened to me pour my heart out. Zack, I love you, with all my heart I do. I hope I’ll never do anything to push you away. Because now that I’ve found you, I can’t let you go.

Don’t wait till the last minute to let your loved ones know how much you love them. It will be too late then. Start now, because there are definitely a million things you’ll want to say to them. Do it while you still can.

“Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she’s my only one
If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance
To tell her how I feel
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she’s my only one
If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes”

19-year-old Gwen believes that one should never wait to express the love and appreciation to one’s treasured ones. Even as Valentine’s Day draws near, she feels that it should not be the only day to say “I Love You” to the people around her.