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My hubby and I got married on 8th November 2008. Ours was an arranged marriage, decided by both our parents. Then, it was a fairytale come true when love blossomed between us.

Whoever said that arranged marriages don’t give us the space & time to get to know each other better than love marriages did wasn’t right. We both knew each right back at school overseas, where he was studying at the guy’s campus and me at the girl’s campus. I only knew him as a schoolmate, and we rarely met except on certain school occasions.

I didn’t have a clue that I was going to share my life with this person till one day, my dad told me that he had asked for my hand in marriage. I was quite taken aback since I didn’t really expect it.

So my dad arranged for the both of us to meet each other on a date. I must say, that wasn’t something that many dads would be open about, but he gave me the freedom to decide. It was the most important decision that I had to take. My family personally had a very good opinion of my hubby and that was definitely a plus. So I decided to give it go and met him.

We shared many things between us and found out that we had many in common. Many have the opinion that arranged marriages don’t leave you with any choice but to agree with the parent’s decision, but our parents gave us the freedom to decide if we wanted to spend our lifetimes with each other. Though eight years apart, there was much I could learn from living with him.

Before deciding to get married, the “looking- forward” factor is very important. It is then when you plan out how you decide to live together.

In our religion, it is the custom for the bride to leave her home & family to stay with the husband and the in- laws. After we got engaged, it was our “dating” period where I got to know more about him and his family. It was very interesting and we both share many joyful, countless memories.  The “dating” period really helped as I didn’t feel so awkward & out of place when I got married and moved in. My in- laws are really nice & friendly people. I felt very comfortable with them.

Day by day the love between us grew more and more as learnt about each other. Not only between me and my husband, but also with his family.  That was when I realized how true it was when they said that, a man is very much pleased when the woman he marries accommodates and is very comfortable with the family he loves.

Of course there are times when we have little disagreements between us, but that only teaches the both of us to love each other for the way that both of us are. Learning to love a person is true love.

It grew more when I was pregnant with my son. My husband & in-laws took good care of me. It was during my most difficult times when I really appreciated my husband. The little, little things that he did for me showed me how much he cared for me. He was there for me, through thick and thin.

The really special thing about our marriage is that, though both of us have a busy working & teaching schedule, we always set aside some time for the both of us just to talk. Even if it was a couple of minutes, to talk about everything and anything. Verbal communication for us is indeed very important.

We’re both happy to be learning to take care of junior together. He is our greatest joy and binds the two of us even closer. He gives us both another reason to stay on and strong.

We often tell each other the three most important words just to give that extra boost for the day and assure each other that, “Yes,  I still love you.” The object of love is not getting something that you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

It is a fact, however that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate. What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage. I’m so happy with my decision that I took to include him in my life. I thank God for him and junior.

Rasheedha Majeed is a 22-year-old legal secretary. Her husband Abdul Aziz is 8 years older and a court officer. They count the greatest blessing in their lives as their 3-month-old son, Muhammad Haroon Yahya, whom they call their lovely “prince”.

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