STAR BLOGGERS

Life is a journey that we all take, and Love is the one thing that all of us are eager to find… we meet someone, and we fall in love; but most of the time, we fall out of love too. The search for “the one” is a lifetime adventure, some of us search our whole lives for love, but for some, love finds us.

I never had much luck in love when I was younger; I probably didn’t even fully fathom love’s true meaning back then. But as we grow older, we start to understand that love is a lot more than just a feeling.

Some people find love easy, but some, like myself, go through years of heart-wrenching breakups before finding someone to lean on for life.

My boyfriend, Ben, is a DJ.

We met in June 2008 at a random meeting of DJs which I was practically dragged to against my will.

When I met Ben, I was anything but impressed. It definitely was not love at first sight. I never liked the idea of being around smokers, cause it makes me feel sick, and he smoked; like a smoke machine.

There was no way I would end up with someone like that, at least, that’s what I thought back then. Moreover, I was fresh out of a relationship gone wrong and didn’t see myself getting involved with anyone new anytime soon.

Like all new acquaintances, we started talking online. The next time I saw Ben was at Zouk where he was spinning for a friend’s event that they persuaded me to go for. I wasn’t an avid clubber, and night life just wasn’t quite my idea of fun anyway.

I started keeping late nights more than I ever did, and my parents started getting jumpy. All I told them was that I was out with friends. A friend, that’s what I convinced myself Ben was.

Barely a month after getting acquainted, Ben flew to Shanghai for an overseas gig, and returned with a stuffed panda for me. Soon after, I found myself asking questions like “Could I be falling in love, again?”

My parents never really approved of me clubbing, so I knew that dating a DJ would be one of the worse things to do. They would kill me. Really, they would. True enough, when my dad caught wind of the situation, he went berserk. For days all I got were lectures and constant naggings about how people who go to clubs are “bad people”. Drugs, alcohol, trouble. I never felt more confused than I did at that point. I was practically at war with myself, mentally and emotionally, to the point of breaking down.

Honestly, I didn’t particularly like what Ben does for a living, and yet, he was beginning to be the one person who seemed to truly understand me and showed me he could and wanted to love me for who I really am. For days, I cried in sheer frustration.

And then, together, we decided. We connected on such a deep level that we weren’t just going to give it up without a fight, literally. I hated myself, I really did. I knew it would hurt my parents, but I’ve had my heart broken too many times in the past, I wouldn’t give up a possibility of having it mended. I wasn’t ready to let happiness slip through my fingers just like that.

Parents are always concerned for their children’s well-being, they may know what’s good and bad for us, but, they might not always be right.

Until today, I’m glad Ben and I made the decision to stick together. We fought for this relationship, which makes us treasure our love more than anything else. No relationship is perfect, every mistake is a lesson learnt, and we just get stronger with every fall.

People ask me how we stay so strong after being together for a year and a half, and I always tell them the same thing.

“Remember how and why you fell in love with the person you’re with, and fall in love all over again, every single day.”

Love is so much more than just a feeling of butterflies in your tummy, love, is a decision.

Jeanine Gabrielle Goh is a jewellery and accessories designer who also models occasionally. She blogs about her journey with Ben at: http://www.bamboopandalove.wordpress.com

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