Jan 20 2010
If a woman gets molested, it’s her fault! Elizabeth Lee says.
Here begins the scapegoating. Us Singaporeans do enjoy a round of well-fired arrows.
In my book, when a girl gets molested, it is more often than not her fault.
Coming from an average, normal, boring and adequately conservative Chinese family, I have always been taught not to invite trouble by dangling myself or any of my more desirable assets in front of salivating, less gentlemanly specimens of the other sex.
This quote I can take no credit for, for they were uttered by the wise and strong woman who gave birth to me. Speaking of which, I neglected to mention that the dynamics of my adequately conservative Chinese family is pretty much ruled by my dominant, and more than occasionally, feminist mother. As a result both my sister and myself have grown up with several key principles at hand:
1. Don’t trust men.
2. If you dress in clothes the size of a dish cloth, it’s your own fault if men aged 8 – 80 stare down your crevices.
3. If you decide to behave like a prostitute, don’t be outraged when you get treated like one.
Harsh words, perhaps. But behind it all my mother was just driving home the point that the one thing a girl cannot afford to lose is her dignity.
A friend of mine once commented, “When a guy gets drunk, it’s just funny. When a girl gets drunk, it’s just downright embarrassing.” We were watching several intoxicated friends making a fool of themselves in public.
It’s true. We easily laugh off the antics of drunk male friends, at least until they puke on our best shirts. But when a drunk female throws herself onto the laps of (un)willing men, half the school will probably find out by the next morning. Throw in the other half of campus and neighbouring universities if her virginity is lost.
I’m not saying that females are necessarily always at fault. Intentional groping incidents that seem to occur every countdown or Christmas prove that some deprived members of the opposite sex really do think only with their dicks. But a girl dressed in a tea towel parading herself before a sea of men at a clubbing event is as good as throwing yourself with your main arteries sliced into a sea of great white sharks. It sends the signal: Come and get me, I’m not going to mind.
Perhaps she threw out the bait a little too far, or threw out a little too much bait. The tuna she’d expected to reel in turned into a crocodile (read: buaya), with nearby strangers capturing her struggle with the over-eager creature on video for the rest of Singapore’s online community to likewise partake in her humiliation.
In that I do offer my sympathies. If I have a finger to blame, it would slowly uncurl towards the people who chose to upload the video to YouTube and pictures to STOMP in the name of ‘righteous anger’. If their intentions were to shame the men, I think they’ve done a better job shaming the woman. If their intention was to shame everyone else for not having gone forward to help, congratulations for having done no different. If it was uploaded for no other reason than to get a good kick out of it, then I rest my case. Us Singaporeans do enjoy having things to make a ruckus about every now and then.
One thing she (or he, as some seem to claim) can be thankful for, is that once this dies down, at least she wouldn’t have gained the notoriety of 2009’s favourite Singaporean – Ris Low.
Elizabeth Lee is a 20-year old student who does not club. She feels that while men almost always seem to bear the brunt of a molest case; she finds it hard to sympathize with the lady in the discussed case.
2 responses so far
Elizabeth Lee may not sympathize the molested, but that is just her. She may have missed the more important point.
MOLESTATION is MOLESTATION.
Her view lacks depth. If she does not support men molesting a woman in public , she needs to voice it out or mention this in her comment. This makes a lot of difference. Do you think the men did the right thing? Well, did you say this in your comment?
“She feels that while men almost always seem to bear the brunt of a molest case; she finds it hard to sympathize with the lady in the discussed case. ”
why confuse people with the above? hey, its a simple thing. The men molested her. Any person with normal or higher level of IQ will know they were molesting her in public.
If a man have sex with a minor, is that not a crime even if consentual?
So, you missed the point. I hope its not on purpose.
I think Elizabeth’s 1st point “Don’t trust men” is too much for people to take. She doesn’t trust her father as well?