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World Kindness Day is on 13^th November 2009. So, it is apt that attention should, once more, focus on the Singapore Kindness Movement. The big question to be asked, first, of course is: is Singapore an essentially unkind society?

 The short answer, unfortunately, is yes – and I shall tell you why. Singapore is a country built on competition. It is a nation that has raised competition to be the apex of all human endeavour. Were there Ten Singaporean Commandments, the first would be: Thou Shalt Win (At All Costs). Here, in Singapore, the only thing that matters, really, is that one should “win”, no matter what it takes to do so. In a culture where the only success is to be “No.1”, it seems necessary, to the people, to step on everyone else to get there. People brought up to believe that “winning is all”, become people who will do anything to win. This creates a fundamentally unpleasant attitude towards other people. You see, in such a “winner takes all” culture, other people are not seen as one’s fellow citizens, of a shared nation, but as one’s COMPETITORS. It is a small step from the word “competitor” to the word “enemy”. Thus, true Singaporeans don’t love their fellow man, they compete with them; fight with them; trample on them. They come to be people who only think of one person: themselves – no-one else is considered, or even considered worthy of being considered. No-one else matters, but “me”.

 Singapore is a nation of people each of whom has the same thought running through their heads: “me, me, me”. There is no room for thought of anyone else. The consequences are clear. Singaporeans won’t do even the most basic of kindnesses for each other. They slam doors in each other’s faces, instead of holding them open. They get on trains, or into lifts, before others have got off. They steal each other’s taxis, getting into cabs others have called. They jump queues and get angry if challenged (which rarely happens). If offered a seat, on a bus, or a train, they will almost always fail to say “thank you”, but will sit in silence. Unbelievably, they even attack their fellow Singaporeans online, for doing well, in any endeavour. The list of poor behaviours could go on forever – but there is no need, for all the behaviours share one thing in common: a lack of thought for anyone else. Here, no-one considers the feelings of others.

 Now, how are we to change this? How are we to make a kinder society? The Singapore Kindness Movement is a start. At least, it might prompt people to reflect on the issues and begin a process of personal change. However, I think it is too late to expect adults to change their ways, significantly. If Singapore is to become noted for the kindness of its people (which would, after all, be a lovely thing, wouldn’t it?), the efforts must begin in early childhood. Singapore’s children need to be taught to think of their effect on others; they need to learn to consider the feelings of others, just as much as they do their own. Parents can help with this, but schools should take on much of the burden. The instilling of kindness, as a desired attitude, could be woven into every lesson, in every school, in the land. It should begin with the teachers…perhaps they can be kind to their students. Every time they do so, they are teaching the children about kindness.

 Perhaps, too, if Singaporeans could learn to compete less, with each other, and appreciate more, each other’s achievements, then a greater consideration for each other, might grow in their hearts. If Singaporeans can accept that other Singaporeans can win, too, and that that is something to feel pride in, rather than resentment of, perhaps the essential attitude of Singaporeans towards each other, might be changed for the better.

 Kindness is a very important quality of a people. A kind person makes the lives of every person they ever meet, better. Of course, the opposite applies, too: an unkind person, makes the lives of everyone they meet worse. So, the Singapore Kindness Movement does not represent a trivial idea. It represents something fundamental to the quality of life, for everyone living in Singapore. If Singaporeans are, on the whole, unkind to each other, then it makes Singapore an unpleasant place to live in. Thus, it is important, for every Singaporean to begin to think in terms of how they can be kind to others. At each and every interaction, with other people, thought should be given to how they might show kindness, in that moment. Were all to do this, Singapore would quickly become one of the world’s most pleasant places to live in.

 Of course, it takes two people to be kind: not just one. By this I mean, whenever anyone shows a kindness to another, that other should say: “Thank you”, for the kindness shown. Should they not thank their benefactor, they would be greeting a kindness, with rudeness…which is just another variety of unkindness. So, there are two parts to this: being kind to others – and being polite to those who are kind to us.

Be kind!

Valentine Cawley believes he has been given many gifts as a child. Hence, he has tried being an actor, a writer of two books, a government physicist, at age 17, the founding editor of an Arts magazine, at 22, and a performance artist. However, he believes his greatest achievement is to have fathered three sons.
He writes at http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com

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