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Are we stressing our kids to death?? Are you kidding?? If you ask me, I think it’s the other way around. Our kids are stressing us to death!

I have always believed in raising happy kids. Not stressing them too much especially over academic performance and as long as they are coping fine, we would be more than happy. Or so I thought.

My little girl has all along been a darling both at home and in school. Ever since she attended childcare years ago, I received nothing but great comments from her teachers. Even after she attended primary school, her results and conduct was that of a model student. At least till last year. She is in primary 3 this year and she had changed so much that I have totally no idea what happened!!

I totally belong to the camp of those “bo chup” parents. I don’t buy loads of assessment books for my kids, no enrichment classes, no tuition, no stressing them during exams period and definitely not one to take leave just to revise with them. The only “extra lessons” she had was learning to swim because she asked for it and I felt that it was a survival skill and also a chance for her to get some exercise and sun. I was definitely happy with this arrangement especially when my girl managed to score pretty well and at the same time saved us quite a substantial amount of money. And weekends/evenings spent together is all play and not shuttling her between enrichment classes and shouting at her to revise her homework. I can definitely proudly declare that we do not give her any stress at all.

But all of that changed. She took it for granted that she doesn’t have to work hard to get good results and started to slack in her work. I started to nag at her more and supervised her schoolwork more closely than ever. She hated it. I hated it as well. She hates it that I am pushing her and I am upset that she dislikes me for it. She started to overreact and gets really emotional over it.

Here’s my problem. I know she can do much better because she has proven to be able to do so all this while. If I start to push her, our relationship is strained. If I just let her be, she starts to get lazy and her results gets affected. Tell me, what should I do????? And I haven’t even started sending her to tuition classes and stuff. It doesn’t help that her little brother is only 4 years old this year and the only stress he has is running out of snacks to eat while deciding to watch either Okto or Thomas And Friends VCDs.

I told my husband, this is retribution. My mum must be happy to see this happening to me now. I gave my mum her fair share of headaches and troubles when I was a little girl. While I appreciate the fact that my mum gave me room (read: don’t care) to grow and study at my own pace, I am lucky and…. ahem… smart enough to get to where I am today. But who knows, if she had kicked my butt hard enough, I would be Dr. Koh or something today and earning tens of thousands every month now.

So what we’re doing now is to guide and monitor her schoolwork closely but not in a harsh way. Still no tuition classes because I really don’t think she needs it yet. Hopefully al turns out well in time to come. I dare not even think about the time when my little boy starts his formal education. Did I mention that he doesn’t speak mandarin at all?? Someone pass me the contact for Chinese enrichment classes please. Not double standards, just that we need to tailor to the needs of the child. Yes?? Oh, and while we are at this, I am also looking at sending the other child (read: hubby) to some classes as well such as “101 Ways to Romance You Wife” and also “Self Help for TV Addicts”.

Now you tell me, who is the one getting stressed to death? Sigh, I am so in need of a drink.

“Being a parent is easy but being a good parent is the tough part. Celine Koh a young mother with 2 kids trying hard to stay sane while dealing with the challenges of being a woman. She blogs regularly at http://kohceline.blogspot.com/ ”

Before we talk about whether Singaporeans deserve to have more privileges than PRs and foreigners, perhaps we could first ask whether there may be any areas whereby foreigners or PRs have “more privileges” than Singaporeans?

Employers which employ foreigners, do not have to contribute CPF.  So, the employer saves up to 14.5 per cent of the salary.

Employ a female on the S-Pass or work permit, you don’t have to worry about the four months maternity leave if you employ a Singaporean lady.  As I understand it, the conditions of the S-Pass and work permit forbids them from becoming pregnant.

If you employ a Singaporean male, he has up to 40 days of reservist liability in a year.  In contrast, employing a foreign or PR male, eliminates this problem.

Since those on say work permits are stuck with the same employer for up to three years, the employer may not have a turnover problem – Singaporean employees can resign anytime.

So, is the playing field level in employment, for Singaporeans, vis-à-vis foreigners?

In this regard, I think Singaporeans may not even be asking for “more privileges”, but just a more level playing field.

Moreover, since foreigners do not have to make their own employee’s CPF contribution of up to 20 per cent, their disposable income may be more than a Singaporean worker.

This may be one of the reasons why the wages of lower-income, lower-skilled jobs may have been declining over the years.

For example, cleaners that used to earn about $800 a month a few years ago, now only earn about $650.

As Singaporeans typically have families to feed, mortgages to service, relative to foreigners or PRs who may generally be here alone, Singaporeans may find it more difficult to accept lower paying jobs, for the simple fact that it may not be enough for their basic needs relative to foreigners and PRs.

The manpower regulations require employers to insure all foreign workers for at least $5,000 of medical insurance cover.

However, there is no such requirement for Singaporean workers.

So, in some companies, we have the abnormality of foreign workers being insured, whereas Singaporeans are not.

This is another example of “less privileges” rather than “more privileges”.

PR siblings (below age 35) qualify to buy resale HDB flats.  However, Singaporean PR siblings (below age 35) do not.  Why is it that in this aspect, even PRs may have “more privileges” than Singaporeans?

I think what may really irk Singaporeans, may not be so much about how much more or less privileges there are, but rather how many Singaporeans these “privileges” policies may be affecting.

In order to answer this question, we need for example, the break-down of the unemployment statistics into Singaporeans and PRs, instead of lumping them together as residents; HDB flats purchased by PRs relative to citizens, etc.

PRs who have no jobs may be able to more easily return to their home country, sell their HDB flats, etc, but Singaporeans generally have no choice but to find work and stay in Singapore.

We may also need to be more discerning in examining the statistics when we ask for more privileges, as sometimes, when say PRs and foreigners have to pay more for medical fees relative to Singaporeans, it may be Singaporean employers, Singaporean households, who may be bearing the brunt of the fees increase, as they are the ones paying for their foreign/PR employees, domestic maids, non-Singaporean spouses and relatives.

For example, when fees increase for foreigners and PRs, but remain the same for Singaporeans, it may not be “more privileges”.

Instead, it may be a greater financial burden for some Singaporeans, unless increase in fees for foreigners and PRs, means lower fees for Singaporeans.

An alumnus of Harvard University, Leong Sze Hian has authored 4 books, been quoted over 1000 times in the media , host of a radio show on money matters and a daily newspaper column, has been a Wharton Fellow and invited to speak more than 100 times in more than 20 countries on 5 continents. He has served as Honorary Consul of Jamaica, Chairman of the Institute of Administrative Management, and founding advisor to the Financial Planning Associations of Indonesia and Brunei.

To question the issue of racial discrimination would often be done in hushed tones.

Our multi-racial and multi-religious social glue is something we have built for close to half a century. This harmonious relationship among races is something that we Singaporeans are proud of and something we uphold and share as a paragon to the rest of the world.

But are we quick to deny that instances of racial discrimination does not exist in Singapore?

I would say, partly from being the minority race, that yes it does happen but not in the extreme sense as found in ethnically charged countries.

But more often than not, these misunderstandings arise as there is a lack of mutual understanding or common interaction among the different races. For some of my peers, even after 12 years of public education, they have not interacted fully with anyone from another race in Singapore.

“Zakaria, you are the first Malay person I know,” she said. I met her during a junior college seminar. It shocked me as I believed that there would be ample opportunities for people of all races to interact and share their varying values, beliefs and worldview by that age.

Once, I had a friend approach me to find out what is the Bin at the end of my name used for as some are clueless to what it represents for a Malay Muslim like me.

“Yes, its Bin. You know, like Bin Laden.”

Though the joke often defuses the awkwardness that comes from the individual asking that question, I am appreciative of the person’s efforts in finding out more about those around him.

Hopefully there will be greater opportunities for people like him to interact and share their ideas and worldview with other races.

24 year-old Zakaria Zainal is the Deputy Editor of Enquirer.sg, a student-run and independent online newspaper based in Nanyang Technological University. It aims to carve out a niche in comprehensive in-depth reporting of issues within the university. This final-year journalism major at the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information is also an avid photographer. His writings and pictures can be found at: http://enquirer.sg/ & http://zakariazainal.com/

“Everybody’s a little bit racist/It’s true!” sang an adorable muppet-like creature in the hit Broadway musical, Avenue Q. I chuckled along with the rest of the predominantly white audience, inclusive of my dear friend’s family. That Thanksgiving Break, I spent my days enjoying the beautiful Pennsylvanian suburbia: baking apple pies from scratch, walking their fluffy dogs, and socializing with exclusively WASP(White Anglo-Saxon Protestant)-like characters. As one of the few Chinese sitting in a theater packed with neatly dressed, upper-middle class white Americans, I could not escape my resonating thoughts. Was I the butt of the joke? Were they laughing at me? As a Chinese-Singaporean, at home, I easily blended in as one of the majority, but halfway across the world in the United States, I stood out as part of the minority—the so-called ‘Model Minority’.

In the 1960s, the American government began to shift from banning Chinese immigration in 1886 to welcoming us, a ‘well-educated, economically capable’ minority. Alas, the myth that the Chinese form an exclusive ‘Model Minority’ has contributed to the omnipresence of racial discrimination in American society. As a Chinese student in the US, I’m expected to possess mathematical prowess and converse in sub par English. My dorm mates do stare quizzically at my strange Chinese tidbits and bottles of chili sauce. Many a time, Americans have marveled, a tad bit too enthusiastically, at my lack of a fob(slang for fresh out of the boat) accent. While these acts may be interpreted negatively as instances of discrimination, on the flipside, these actions could simply be a consequence of the Americans’ ignorance or sheltered upbringings. I believe that racial discrimination is not only perpetuated by the white majority, but also self-imposed.

Removed out of my happy comfort zone and thrown smack in a private American educational institution, a.k.a. the New England Country Club, I tended to hang out exclusively with my fellow Asians. Fearing the unknown, I fell back on self-segregation instead of facing up the challenge. Having spent the last five years studying the US, I’ve come to recognize my personal ignorance. There I was, blaming the Americans for discriminating against me. In reality, I wasn’t making an effort to correct their assumptions. My American friends don’t discriminate; instead, they ask questions about Singapore and Chinese culture motivated by only sincere intentions. Many are taking Mandarin at school, and some have even visited me in Singapore! Racism is not an issue that can vanish overnight. But with the undisputed economic rise of China on the world arena, Americans are beginning to respect the Chinese and appreciate our culture. Coupled with the rise of international students in the US, most of whom hail from China, India and Japan, our peers will befriend Asians, and realize that not all Asians are the same. We aren’t all stingy. We don’t always use chopsticks. We can change their mindsets.

I bear zero desire to study in a color blind America. Embrace diversity instead of enforcing conformity. As the world’s borders are crumbling, so should racism due to stereotyping. Likewise, if you study overseas, do not abide by the judgments others impose upon you. Be yourself. Despite encountering bouts of discrimination, I still stand tall as a Chinese-Singaporean among my collar popping, gum snapping, American peers.

Stephanie Teo is currently in her sophomore year at Brown University, working towards a double-major degree in International Relations and Visual Arts. This Singaporean also studied in high school in the US, at Phillips Academy, Andover. Time sure flies, because this year marks her sixth year in America.

Is patriotism an archaic concept?

That’s a hilarious question to ask me since I’m not Singaporean. But I’ve been here long enough as a Foreign Talent (FT) so perhaps I can offer a different view.

As an FT, I can proudly say that I’m quite patriotic about Singapore. You won’t catch me going around badmouthing Singapore. I’m glad to be here and part of this incredibly efficient, clean and advanced island nation. And I suspect many of my fellow FT’s also feel the same way. We’re all buying HDB flats, aren’t we?

At a glance, patriotism seems to be an archaic concept in Singapore because the locals mostly don’t appear to give a damn except on National Day when half the country celebrates and the other half goes on holiday to neighboring countries.

Are Singaporeans patriotic? Sadly to say, I don’t think so. They’re mostly very jaded. The guys were forced to go through NS and that didn’t help. The economic downturn didn’t help as well. People on the whole are unconcerned about their busy lives instead of focusing on the bigger picture. Government bashing seems to be a national hobby but nobody gets involved in politics which is strange.

So yes, I do think patriotism is an archaic concept, at least in Singapore today.

Technorati lists him as a “huge Asian blogger”. This 30-year-old elusive blogger is fiercely private and has been blogging since 2002. Cowboy Caleb currently shuttles between Malaysia, Singapore, China and Thailand.  He is also an editor for Tomorrow.sg, a popular website for Singapore bloggers.

I came to know about the installation of CCTV cameras at Speaker’s Corner on Facebook, when I saw it in my newsfeed. My immediate thought was: “what the…!”

Singapore has always struggled with an image problem, in that it is seen as a very tightly controlled society, by both Singaporeans and foreigners. When Speaker’s Corner was first launched in 2000, that was seen as a step forward (albeit a baby step) in terms of expanding the space for public discourse in Singapore. And the Prime Minister’s announcement last year that the regulations governing Speaker’s Corner would be relaxed was also welcomed by most as another baby step forward.

So the installation of CCTV cameras would seem to be a significant step backwards. The practical effect is that they may well deter people from speaking or demonstrating at Speaker’s Corner, or to even show up to attend events, for fear of being captured and somehow “marked”.

It does not help that the explanations proffered by the police to date have been unconvincing, to say the least. In response to queries from TODAY and The Online Citizen, the police stated that “CCTVs are used to complement Police presence on the ground and to project a greater sense of security. … As part of an on-going initiative to enhance security in the neighbourhoods, Police have been extending CCTV coverage to other parts of the island. Hong Lim Park is one such area. These CCTVs do not record audio inputs and are installed for safety and security.”

This response begs further questions, all unanswered. Why was Speaker’s Corner selected for the CCTV installation? And why now? After all, it is usually quiet, if not deserted. Have there been any incidents of crime to warrant a “projection” of a greater sense of security? Does not the police post adjacent to Speaker’s Corner already project a strong sense of security? In what way is that inadequate?

When TODAY asked me to comment on this development, I told them that frankly, it was “quite ridiculous”. And I stand by that. We hold Speaker’s Corner up as a sign of how Singapore has opened up, to show that there is room for free speech and a place for demonstrations and protests in Singapore. The Prime Minister even said last year, “So I think there is no need for the police to get involved. … The overall thrust of these changes is to liberalise our society, to widen the space for expression and participation. We encourage more citizens to engage in debate, to participate in building our shared future and we will progressively open up our system even more. …”

And then we go and install surveillance cameras. How do you reconcile that most striking symbol of a police state, with the goal of free speech and liberalisation?

My own suspicion is that the cameras were installed in advance of the upcoming APEC meeting in Singapore. During the IMF-World Bank meeting in Singapore in 2006, there was a public protest at Speaker’s Corner, as well as an attempt to march to the venue of the meeting. The film Speakers Cornered captured the events of that day. I can only surmise that the CCTV cameras are in anticipation of similar incidents. But at what cost to Singapore?

Siew Kum Hong is a former Nominated Member of Parliament (2007-2009), and currently an aspiring civil society activist. While in Parliament, he spoke on a number of issues including ministerial salaries and civil liberties, and he also submitted to Parliament a citizens’ petition bearing over 2000 signatures calling for the repeal of Section 377A of the Penal Code in October 2007. He was also involved in the recent events at the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE).

The day is 10 August.  The fireworks from NDP have barely died down, when the 2009 Organizing Committee steps down, and a new Committee takes over to start planning for NDP 2010.

Immediately, discussions turn to the controversy surrounding the NDP 2009 theme song.  The song that was criticized for being unmemorable, too rock and roll, difficult to sing to, and having nothing to do with NDP or Singapore at all.

The new chairman of the committee declares, “The NDP theme song must appeal to the masses, therefore we must take in everyone’s comments and suggestions.  We must ensure that the song must be crafted to reach out to every single Singaporean.  It must appeal to everyone and be beyond reproach.”

With that objective in mind, the committee began to brainstorm on what needs to be included in the 2010 song.  “It must contain the word Singapore.”   “It must represent our four major races, yet not exclude any minority groups.”  “It must cover an extensive age group demographic, and must include the elderly, sickly and disabled.”  “It must showcase all our National Landmarks and progress in Nation Building.” “It must display our achievements in Arts, Commerce, and Sports.”

With all those points and more noted down, the committee then decided to hire BOTH Dick Lee and Clement Chow to compose the theme song.  After all, both men had previously composed iconic theme songs.  Their partnership would surely result in a winner.

Fast forward 6 months ahead, and the 2010 Theme Song is announced with much aplomb and fanfare.  The resulting epic song composed by the formidable Lee-Chow partnership is a powerful, inspirational, and most importantly catchy and easy to sing along to, aptly titled “Count on Me Singapore, My Home”.

But to the horror of the committee, the song is not the all encompassing crowd pleaser that they expected it to be.  Whereas a large number of people think the song is great, a significant number of people are extremely critical towards it.

“Yet another attempt to pull at the heartstrings through mushy lyrics and smiley faces.”

“The song sounds as if we are back in the 80’s.”

Other criticisms are more personal and unjustified.

“I just don’t like anything by Dick Lee.”

“Clement Chow sucks.”

The Committee is taken aback and disheartened.  Unfortunately the song had already been released, and there is no way of taking it back.  But time passes, though the criticisms continue growing, the committee gradually gets accustomed to them.  Finally, they come to realize what all the other committees before them had come to realize.

That it is an impossible task to produce a song that every single person from our 4 million will like and have nothing bad to say.

And although the above scenario is fictional and untrue, and entirely based on my imagination, Dave (Electrico’s lead singer) did reveal in an interview that the song took him just two weeks to compose, but much, much longer to get approved.

In my personal opinion, Electrico did very well to produce a song that expressed their National Pride, whilst maintaining their artistic vision and integrity at the same time.  Years from now, I am certain “What Do You See?” will be remembered as the song that broke new ground and altered perception of what an NDP Theme Song has to sound like.

Behind The Scenes for NDP Music Video Shoot (1)

Behind The Scenes for NDP Music Video Shoot (2)

31 year old Bertrand Lee is one of Singapore’s talented young filmmakers. His graduation short film Trishaw, made at the age of 23, won the Kodak Asia-Pacific Competition. In 2005, he made the headlines when he had his leg amputated after an accident in Mumbai, India.